Do you read Real Weddings Magazine? I hope so… it’s an incredible resouse for those of you planning your wedding! I was recently featured in Real Weddings Magazine on how to keep the romance strong while planning your wedding! I invite you to check it out below… and be sure to leave a comment over on their blog! I’d love to hear your thoughts around this!
Working with brides for more than 15 years, I have seen time and time again the relationship with their fiancé become strained during the engagement because of the intensity of wedding planning. Stress kicks in with all of the decisions to be made, overwhelming schedules take over (trying to meet with all of the vendors), communication goes out of the window… and before you know it, the intimacy and romance take a back seat before the marriage even begins!
Much of this is due to stress, lack of self care, and the breakdown of clear communication. You might be thinking…“Well, how the heck can I change that? There is just soooo much to do!” My advice? It comes down to three things: Connection, Communication and Commitment.
Make a time to have a non-wedding related date night on the calendar once a week. What I mean by non-wedding related is that you make an agreement to NOT discuss the wedding at all during this time together…admittedly, it’s difficult as you’re excited about your wedding planning, but it’s essential. Even if it is just enjoying each other’s company for dinner and a movie at home—one day a week where you commit to spending quality time together genuinely connecting and having fun being a couple.
It is also important to schedule some specific times in your calendar to talk openly and clearly about the wedding arrangements. How often may vary depending on where you are at in the planning process. Once a week is great, even if it’s just to touch base briefly. This is vital so that you are both sure your feelings are being heard and considered. It also sets you up to have “normal” living and conversation throughout the rest of the week. Not that you aren’t going to chat wedding here and there on non-scheduled times, but setting up this designated time will help you get a lot discussed in a short amount of time, leaving more balance in your life. It’s a great time to really practice being present to both talk and to also actively listen to one another. Neither of you can read each other’s mind, so it’s important for you both to speak up about your thoughts while planning the wedding—you don’t want resentment to occur during the wedding planning process that could potentially carry over to your married life.